Heart breaks of the past make the wisdom of the future.
October 9th
5:56pm :: 10/09/05
Mood: really upset now that I'm thinking about Jeremy, but I'll get over it
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Your Animal Personality
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Your Power Animal: Deer
Animal You Were in a Past Life: Panda
You are a fun-seeker - an adventurous, risk-taker.
While you are spontaneous, you are not very rational.
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I spent more time again today working in the attic. Tina and Amber couldn't make it over
today. (Amber is mainly a friend of Tina's. But I've spent time with her before. She's 15, and really funny.) I wish they could have. I hardly got anywhere. Travanti was supposed to help me, but
he got called unexpectedly for work. So I'm feeling really lonely and depressed. I did manage to get up one sheet of wall board with my mom's help. I had to cut a third off it which I put up myself at a previous time.
Maybe I should explain a little bit about the condition of this house, and why it's like this. But first, another quiz result:
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Your Sexy Brazilian Name is:
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Marília da Costa
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Isn't that CRAZY? Travanti's last name is DaCosta!
Anyway, okay, almost two years ago now there was a fire.
Read what I wrote about it back then. The fire burned almost all of the attic. The water damage destroyed three quauters of the second floor and two thirds of the first floor. The main structure of the house other than half the attic was in tact.
Now, since the house belongs to the bank, and the bank wants the house repaired there are two options. Either the bank gives my family the estimitated amount of money required to do the work in intervals, with check ups to make sure the work is getting done OR they give the money to a contractor to do it.
Now it would be easier for us to have hired a contracter, except that they would get ALL the money. Well, we needed at least some of it to pay extra bills we now needed to pay. We had to pay for a temportary apartment to live in. We had to move into this new apartment, where we lived with
Jeremy. (Before Jeremy broke up with me.)
...
Oh my god... I'm reading, or, I read
one of the entries I wrote right after he broke up with me. I'm crying. It hurt so bad. I was in pain every moment I lived without him.
He was my soul mate. And now I'm not even planning on buying him a Christmas present. I spent the better part of two years with him. I lived with him for over seven months. I loved him so unconditionally. We were so good for each other. How can I just shut it out? I need a counselor. I feel so horrible. I'm planning the rest of my life around Travanti... and not even planning on buying someone I cared and loved so much a christmas present... I feel wrong. I wish I could undo it all. I wish I could undo the fire, undo the apartment, undo the moving back in here, undo Jeremy, undo Travanti, undo Adam and Grover Clevland High School, and Prom, and AP English - and the bitch that failed me, and ...
*Wipes away tears*
As I was trying to write about. The bank, in total gave us 60,000 dollars to fix the house. We had to redo three floors, rebuild the attic, redo about twenty five walls and the insulation inside. Painting, Plastering, Sanding, Edging, Triming, Wiring... It was all really hard work and parts of the house are still in bad shape. A couple rooms just need paint. The hall needs from plaster and on. A good portion of the attic needs from sanding and plastering. A bigger portion needs insolation, wallboard, plaster, paint, and cleaning out scap wood, wall board and other assorted junk that's been dumped there. The very end of the attic, where the stairs are is where I live.
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Your Summer Ride is a Beetle Convertible
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Fun, funky, and a little bit euro.
You love your summers to be full of style and sun!
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...0 people cared enough to
remark...
Mistakes & misery of the past make the strength of the future.
